Strength is being able to crush a tomato.
Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato.
Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato.
Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.
Can we just stop and talk about this for a minute?
Thresh doesn’t make an alliance. Thresh doesn’t waste time liking her. Thresh knows that either he must kill her or she must kill him for one of them to win.
But this is the only way he can repay her for protecting Rue when he couldn’t. It’s the only way he can repay her for honoring Rue when he couldn’t. He honors her by sparing her friend, the girl who would have died for her.
The revolution really doesn’t start with Katniss.
It starts with Rue.
SOMEBODY FINALLY SAID IT
a ‘somebody finally said it’ post I can get behind
Dad gets his attention, and says, “If she’s not having fun, you have to stop.”
He is two. He needs to hear this now, and so does she. And again, and again, and again, so that like wearing a helmet on the bike it is ingrained.
Yes Means Yes blog: “visions of female sexual power & a world without rape”
Parents, siblings, carers, cousins, teachers, tutors, mentors, aunts, uncles, etc, of young children: we have a chance to mold the gender relations of the future.
Such great advice.
I’ve done this with my kids since the moment they could each sign “more” and “all done” around 8 months old. More tickles? Or all done? More kisses? Or all done? More bouncing? Or all done?
When they’re old enough to play with others, you teach them to constantly check in with each other. Are you having fun? Or do you want to be done?
Is the shrieking laughter or fear? ASK.
Is the giggling from joy or nervousness? ASK.
Do you like being smacked with pillows? ASK.
Are you having fun wrestling? ASK.
And keep asking. What was fun five minutes ago might not be fun now.
Both kids know the moment something stops being fun, they need to stop. And they know that their wishes about what is fun and what’s not will be respected by their parents and by each other. They’ve known it since 8 months old.
This truly isn’t a difficult concept. It’s easy to teach it by example and it’s incredibly simple for children to do.
Are you having fun? Or do you want to stop?
Fucking teach it, parents. Please. ~JJ
I think if dudebros are gonna compare period pain to Kicked in The Balls pain they’re gonna have to follow that same, societally ingrained shaming code that ladies do.
No don’t talk about how much your balls hurt that’s gross.
Stop whining it doesn’t hurt that bad.
You’re really emotional, did you get kicked in the balls?
Don’t even listen to him he just got kicked in the balls.
they should also consent to being kicked in the balls once per month for several days in a row and at the most inconvenient times
taking a final? *wham*
I recently mentioned a street harassment incident (they occur often, 10-75 times a week for over 20 years now) on Twitter, and I received a plethora of ignorant responses. I realized that these responses are common, so I documented them here.
1) "Gosh, where do YOU live?" This is asked for two reasons, besides the person being ignorant, of course. One is that they want to find a way to “contain” the negative behavior and associate it with a place where they don’t live, kind of like how people are currently pretending that racism is only in Florida and sexism is only in Texas. The second reason is that they want to be able to associate street harassment happening to a woman with some awful place that she “chose” to live in. This disregards class, race, culture and other factors that determine where people live.
2) “That NEVER happens to me!” Saying this is not empathetic, especially as a reply to someone explaining an awful street harassment incident. When cis hetero men say this, they are being ignorant of their male privilege. Of course they aren’t street harassed. (I am talking about street harassment here, which is highly gendered, not police harassment, for example, of Black men.) When White women (some of them are never street harassed or rarely street harassed compared to Black women) or women of a high social class (as street harassment does have some race/class factors at play) say this, they mean to infer the inferiority of the woman it has happened to. Because we live in a victim-blaming rape culture, if street harassment is deemed the fault of the person it happens to and it doesn’t happen to “some” women, it then implies that they aren’t as “low” as the women who experienced it.
3) "Just ignore it!" This is the lazy response from people who think they HAVE TO reply versus listening, understanding and empathizing with a woman who experiences street harassment. They are actually implying that the harassment is her fault for noticing it occurred. And at times, ignoring street harassment can have dangerous effects for a woman if that man is of the type who cannot handle being ignored and escalates the harassment to physical violence. “Ignoring” is a difficult thing to do anyway when speaking of something that happens with the frequency that I experience street harassment. How can I “ignore” up to 75 insults a week?
4) "Take it as a compliment; if you weren’t beautiful it wouldn’t happen!” This usually comes from patriarchal men who also street harass. They view anything they do, no matter how aggressive and dehumanizing as “flattering” for a woman. Further, this stance does not work. No matter how a woman looks, whether she is considered “beautiful” or “ugly,” men will justify harassment.
5) "Just move somewhere else!" This is the classist argument. Because street harassment tends to occur in cities (especially with public transportation) more than suburbs and in communities with higher male unemployment and poverty than ones that don’t have that, people assume that you can just pack up your S-Class Mercedes and buy a new mansion in a new city where though misogyny will still be present, naturally, it may not be in the form of street harassment. This also ignores the fact that no matter where I go, for example, I am a Black woman there. People decide to disrespect me based on who I am, not just based on what city I am in.
6) "You’re just saying that because the guy was ugly!" People who genuinely believe that street harassment is “flirting” think that disrespectful and aggressive men who are “attractive” are tolerable. After dealing with street harassment for over 20 years now, I know how utterly ridiculous this assumption is. I promise if the guy looks like Idris Elba and street harasses me, I am still angry. Plenty of physically attractive men street harass me (though most are ashy irritant pissants) and I am angry when it occurs. I don’t want to be harassed. I genuinely delight in a day where not a single man speaks to me. It’s peaceful and I am happy when I go home.
7) "Well say something smart back to him; that’ll fix him!" This response usually comes from those who have never experienced street harassment or it never became physical. While some men can be cursed out well (and I have done that) some cannot. Knowing which ones can and can’t is a guessing game that I don’t want to play in most cases. Just like ignoring one can escalate to violence, so can cursing one out.
8) "Go different places then!" So, women should not go to work, their coffee shoppes, their supermarkets, their bookstores, their laundromats, their gyms, etc. because men will be there and will harass them? Again, this is a location-associated response that ignores the fact that some women (like me and most Black women) are PROFILED and TARGETED for street harassment. It is about US, not the location.
9) "Well, a lot worse could happen!" This reeks of rape culture. Who is to determine what is better or worse? Only the person who experiences the wrath of misogyny, misogynoir, transmisogyny or homophobia (as some gay men are street harassed as well) knows what the experience is like. Even more legally serious violence like domestic violence and rape itself are brushed off as jokes or blamed on the victim. So the idea that I should be “thankful” for street harassment because it isn’t rape ignores the fact that no matter what happens to a Black woman, people will respond with victim blaming.
10) "What were you wearing; what did YOU do to cause it?" I addressed this response before in my post 6 Common Derailment Tactics Used In Conversations About Street Harassment and Sexual Assault and in Rape “Prevention” Advice That Doesn’t Include Tips For Men’s Behavior = Rape Culture. While the wardrobe comments are refuted over and over and why the street harasser or rapist is at fault is explained, people continually retreat to this ignorant argument. Girls are raped by their fathers wearing the clothing their fathers bought them. Women are raped fully clothed and in work clothes/uniform. Women are street harassed no matter what they wear. And regardless of clothing, the harasser or the rapist IS THE ONE AT FAULT.
Notice that in all of these examples ZERO ACCOUNTABILITY is applied to the men who street harass. None. Also, notice the lack of genuine concern and empathy for me or other women who are street harassed. Street harassment is a part of rape culture.
Related Posts: all posts tagged with "street harassment" on Gradient Lair
It’s no secret why big publishing hates Amazon. They are taking money out of their pockets. But beware of boycott Amazon campaigns. Who is paying for them?
Pause. There’s more going on here than that big publishing thinks self publishing on Amazon is going to take over the world. There is so much to be said for curated content. Self publishing is cool, but it’s not going to break big publishing. It might reshape it at some point, but not break it. Fair, publishing is the type of industry that is generally afraid of change, but it’s tenacious and it survives.
What Amazon is right now is the only commercial behemoth that gets to keep making NO PROFIT as they undercut everyone else’s prices and drive them out of business. What happens when everyone else is out of business? Well, gee, when there’s no competition….prices go up for consumers, and profit margins go down for publishers selling through Amazon, and Amazon takes a wider and wider chunk out of the filling in the middle, finally making all their years of lulling us into gentle complacency pay back big time. The real question is: why do we see Amazon as the gentle giant? Why does Amazon get to get away with no profits, and Wall Street doesn’t care? Any other company would have stock prices in the gutter by now and some SCREAMING shareholders. And the really big elephant in the room: What happens when there is no more competition?
This is how you build a monopoly and then stifle free trade. Bad for the consumer, bad for the publishers, bad for everyone…..except Amazon. So yeah, I’m not a big Amazon shopper. This issue is not limited to the book industry. Just pointing out some other pertinent details the original article doesn’t seem to be taking into account.
Carefree, if only for a moment
The French charity the Mimi Foundation told 20 cancer patients they would give them makeovers. All that was required of them was to keep their eyes closed to make the reveal more exciting. The patients expected that when they opened their eyes, they would look beautiful — but they got something else completely.
This literally made me cry with joy.
Crying so hard. I love this so much.
SOBBING THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I’VE EVER SEEN
This is brilliant oh my god, tears in my eyes but also laughing with them *___*
I thought I would hate this but I love it
This is why you cant trust women, even when theyre mouth is closed theyre still lying to you
you do realize that this is really hurtful right?
i did not do this to show how i am ‘lying’ to men or anyone, it’s not about how you, as a man, should feel about it - it’s about myself.
to me your statement sounds as if the left side of this picture is something awful or horrible. and no, it’s not. it is my face - with and without makeup. and whether i chose to wear it or not is MY AND JUST MY decision. and when i do, i do it for myself - so that i feel good about myself - not for you.
i think what pisses me the MOST about that comment, is that the beauty standard was literally created by men, and is perpetuated by the patriarchal society that we live in because it’s a fantasy, because all women were made to be part of this fantasy. it’s not our fault that the attractiveness we display is judged solely on how well we wear makeup, because no one looks like that. even with ‘natural’ makeup, nO ONE LOOKS LIKE THAT. men and women are attracted to faces that do not exist. how fucked up is that?
a guy once said in passing that it was necessary for his girlfriend to wear makeup, and it just blows my mind that he wouldn’t be attracted to a natural women’s face. despite how they look without makeup, because it’s not as “perfect,” as enhanced, the way women “should look,” as it is with makeup. we see men as attractive without makeup, but when we look at women without makeup? it’s shameful, it’s ugly, she hasn’t ‘put her face on.’ we see ‘attractive’ men as attractive despite them having the same flaws as women: under eye circles, thick eyebrows, uneven skin coloring, et cetera. its the fact that we are literally told to believe that our bodies, unlike those of attractive men, are not good enough. we’re told no woman will ever be good enough.
i think it scares men how closely women look like them. not because men think other men are ugly, but because when you look like someone, you identify more with them. it kills the fantasy. women become human, real, people who have body oder and fart. they’re “ugly” without makeup because they’re no longer these freakish dolls that grow zero body hair and whose cheekbones are always defined.
cosmetics for women is a HUGE industry. women’s beauty is a commodity. it’s a thing that can be bought and sold. chris hemsworth wakes up every morning and looks like sun shines out of his ass. while the op in the picture above has to spend a ridiculous amount of money and time literally redefining her face so that she and everyone else will think of her as attractive.
this comment-er calls the op a liar when him and people like him created and perpetuate the reason for its existence. he’s metaphorically punching himself in the face.
i was going to respond but i think the above comment is just spot on and i cant add much to it
i completely loathe the fact that women are often branded deceitful and liars because they have chosen to wear makeup. oh my fuck its just ugh