One of my favourite things about Harry Potter is that Harry is such an unreliable narrator, not because he’s lying, but because he was so oblivious, just about anything could be going on under his nose and he wouldn’t even notice. It’s great because it supports basically every headcanon. Like, no, Harry would not have noticed if Sirius and Remus were dating, I know he’s The Chosen One but he’s about as perceptive as a pile of bricks.
They’ll talk about diversity and anti-racism, but will interpret people pointing out whiteness and straightness as an insult rather than a fact. They’ll see it as an attack, because they’re used to comfy invisibility-as-default. They’ll praise “colorblindness” as though it’s something to aspire to. “Colorblindness” as an ideal has been criticized at length by many, many smart people—let’s listen. Don’t strive to make the marginalized invisible; strive to make the privileged visible.
It’ll make people uncomfortable. Trust me. They’ll live. The least the privileged can do is be aware of it.
Notice. Again and again and again, until it drives you to frustration because it’s everywhere. Until it drives others to frustration because they’re starting to notice, too, and now they can’t stop either.
Do not allow the barrage of majority narratives to pass unremarked upon.
Do not let the privileged be the default.
Adding to the national dessert recipe presentations going around because why not
I just cannot understand this at all.
If I made lists of things like “you’re not allowed to get mad at me for my disability-related behavior no matter how much it harms you”, I might as well literally just say “you’re never allowed to get mad at me.”
If I just misgendered someone, and they are angry at me, and I decide that we need to have a long and drawn out discourse on MY disability and how it affects ME and MY communication, and how YOU aren’t ALLOWED to be angry at ME, that just makes me a complete asshole.
I’ve had just as much of a lifetime of getting yelled at, shit on, and abused for behaviors I can’t control as anyone else on the spectrum, but like. This is the hill you’re going to die on? Invalidating the anger of people you’ve just done harm to? No one can convince me this isn’t about punching down. It’s not even about demanding forgiveness, which would be bad enough, it’s about invalidating the reaction in the first place. It’s about controlling the behavior of people who’ve just been kicked in the head. No thanks.
People with ADHD do not become zombies, sheep or any combination of the two on medication. We really don’t. STOP fearmongering the medication that helps us function and stop refusing to treat children just because some fool on the internet with no medical background said it would turn your kid into a zombie.
but at the same time please do not shame people like me that feel like ADHD medication takes away from our personalities and makes us feel bad because not everyone reacts to medication the same way and for a lot of people it may not help and at the end of the day it should be the choice of the person with ADHD whether or not to pursue medication. the decision shouldn’t be made by an asshole on the internet or parents or people who are “just trying to help” and should be made by the person who lives ADHD because ultimately they’re the only ones who’ll know whether or not it’s helping them. please respect children with disabilities and allow them to make their own decisions.
both of these.
*insert name of every other psychiatric medication here*
There’s also another dimension to this, which is that sometimes people really are making tradeoffs. Like, the meds I take for my depression have significant side effects. In addition to physical things, my emotions are altered by the medication and not always for the best.
But my options are “emotions altered by medication” or “emotions altered by depression.” Being totally unaltered isn’t on the table. So yes, my medication is taking away from my personality, and I’ve decided that’s still better than being depressed. I don’t have to believe that depression meds are harmless to decide I’d rather be on them.
(And this goes in reverse, that someone can decide to take the tradeoff of not taking medication even though their condition really does hurt them.)
I guess what I’m saying is pretty obvious, but I sometimes feel like it’s underrepresented in both sides of this discussion. Medical interventions usually involve making a tradeoff of some kind, not just deciding whether the intervention is good or bad.
Second year psychology major
fuck. this still hits hard.
This is the trash that’s going to be responsible for counselling people. My God, the mental health profession is already filled with enough assholes. *sigh*
and people wonder why we are sometimes reluctant to “just get help”
we as a society need to start talking about abusive friendships, bc those exist and seem to be really common
and most people in them dont know how do deal w the abuse bc its normally emotional abuse which.gets delegitimized, and its a platonic relationship and not a romo or sexual one, so it gets delegitimized for that too
Please, world, can we have this. Because so many people I know have or are in abusive friendships and it’s fucking awful as hell.
And we have no word for “breaking up with a person with whom you were in a non-romantic relationship,” no way of saying “that’s my ex” that doesn’t carry all these connotations you don’t want, when really what you’re saying is “they hurt me as badly as they could, and I cannot have them back, I cannot, I cannot, please stop telling me to be the bigger person, please stop telling me to open the door.”
Every dudebro who says these women shouldn’t have taken private nude photos of themselves and then put them on a secure, private server if they didn’t want everyone in the world to see them should have to have every message they have ever sent on OKC dramatically read to their boss, mom, and granny